Seemingly Likely

Well Its that time of year again when I am not even mangaing to get on to Blogger and Blog like a little Bloggette I am.
Work is piling up and becoming harder. I leav college for the christams holiday on next tuesday. cannot wait to break off and drink like mad. Am having some friends over before christmass to have a drink and a few pizzas. a night together beofre a night out!

5 DAYS

5 DAYS till I'z seez Kings Of Leon!!!
Actually cannot wait!
Am buzzin for the thought of seeing Jared Follwill! Nom Nom Nom
Bringing him home with me to keep foreva and eva!

Textiles artists

My two final textiles artists are....
KLIMT and Isabella Whitworth!!!!
will post evalutaion and finalises Idead later!

HAPPY ADVENT!

drugs gimme drugs gimme drugs I dont need it but I'll sell what you got take the cash

109 in the sky but the pigs won't quit

You're here with me, Dr. Death Defying

I'll be your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter

Pumpin' out the slaughtermatic sounds to keep you live

A system failure for the masses, antimatter for the master plan

Louder than Gods revolver and twice as shine

This one's for all you rock and rollers, all you crash queens and motor babies

Listen up The future is bulletproof The aftermath is secondary

It's time to do it now, and do it loud

Killjoys, make some noise

MCR has a new album out!! MUCH EXCITEMENT!

DANGER DAYS The true lives of the fabulous kill joys !

If I was a Kill Joy I think I'd call myself Lady Wilde or summat cheesy like that!

Fave song so far for Deffo is "NA NA NA" Gotta love it!!!!

sable piégé

Vous ne savez pas comment il se sent à l'extérieur de la foule
Vous ne savez pas ce que c'est que d'être laissé
Vous ne savez pas comment il se sent d'être votre meilleur ami du regarder à l'extérieur


Je ne suis pas ce que je suis représentée darling, je suis à quelques minutes de découverte A victime de pression sociale il aint aucun plaisir Idle mains commencent à travailler ce soir les horaires trop serrés, je dévers comparent ne je pèsent dans les étoiles, mais je peux avoir jamais leur je peux avoir jamais leur dans ma vie, je n'ai personne pour connaître et il restera probablement de cette façon, je sais que je n'ai pas peur d'enlever le chouchou Im une anomalie, vous déshabiller whats gauche je pense im going home, pense im going home je ne donner un sens plus Im, stimulation de la parole, ce que je suis censé pour vous dire la pensée Im gaspiller mon temps maintenant Im gaspiller mon temps maintenant


Je l'ai miscounted, la quantité de temps, j'ai été brisé, assez
et ensanglanté de ces larmes, Dreaming par le biais de peurs enfantines, temps passe comme sable contre la marée, souvenirs et tout ce qui a perdu les pleurs du sang, vous m'a raconté son pas me, son vous tous de ces murs, ils donc debout, je suis pris au piège à l'intérieur être refusé, le plus doux poison, la plus petite flamme, pics et s'enflamme mille sentiments, et, je suis faire tomber les murs, et je me fiche de si elles sont hautes, les grains de sable peuvent tomber, mais je ne suis pas vais pleure pas plus

MAUX DE TÊTE !

Collège a été mouvementée de megga ont deux devoirs délais un est ma feuille d'adjectifs pour l'anglais langue et littérature aussi mon travail pour des études de théâtre.
Vivre avec la neige depuis quelques jours et en raison de cela, un voyage de whitby, sur que j'étais censé aller a été annulé. Beaucoup dissapointment. Je lis Harry Potter et la pierre de Philoserphers nouveau!! J'adore ce livre, je manquera les films lorsqu'ils terminent. Ce sera comme la fin de mon enfance.
HELL HOLY mais j'ont un MAMMOUTH
MAUX DE TÊTE ! Elle se sent comme décès cogner sur ma tête. Je vais obtenir une douche et se détendre puis début grandes attentes.

Beaut Women

Helen Mirren

Lara Stone


Coco Rocha

Ashley Yao

Marine Vacth

Mia Farrow

Defined by nature created by madness...

watching Harry Potter and the philosophers stone!!

Awww I remember getting the book...
What a legend of a film !



Much excitement for christmass. Am getting a Wii sport!!
Having lost weight intend to loose more.



Would like a faux tan leather skirt and black wide legged trousers!
My mum bought me a cape from miss selfridges for £15...



Next time that I go out I am going to try doing my eye make up like this...

College has been very hetic... Drawing Jarvis Cocker for art has been intresting... he has a really strong jaw and also the picture I'm using he's wearing aviator glasses in it so the lines in the picture are nice and bold creating a fantastic picture for a lino printing!

Death to all Minors

Jump up is the word of the day!

Dunno why just is...
am nauseous at the thought of art review... would like a B but jons pushing for a A at the end of the year..

Ideas of momentary madness

Whiiiiiiiiiiiiish that someone would let me do their make up and let me take photographs of them for my art and textiles (Textiles especially)! Trouble is that I have only have the shitty camera on my phone... but I can get decent photos from it sometimes!
I'm using klimt as my personal artist for textiles and not sure about art yet.

I love the colours Klimt uses. His women are stunning.

I am considering getting a tattoo soon have a few designs in mind.

Not sure where I'd like them yet.

Have been hectic lately... college work and stuff at home.

Been feeling crap for a few weeks with everything getting on top of me had a non life threatening anurysm at home involving chocolate and lots of fattening food!

Am considering after college doing a small makeup course... possibly alongside photography.

I am currently on the website www.taaz.com which is a virtual makeover site! It's quite good.

Fuck My Life

A brash title but I don't gove two shiny shits!

Lifes is fucking stresing me out! Him is getting with a Her, that her (as obviously the swearing indicates) is not ME!
And thinking about the time I've wasted wishing it was me, has pissed me off beyond belief!

FML

As stupid and self indulgent as it sounds, I just want to cry thinking about it.

all I want is something "normal" in my life... something that can bring me a bit of happiness for once... and y'know what not just for me but my two best friends who deserve just as much as I do if not more. I love them both too bits and they both understand where I'm coming from and how I feel.

On a daily basis my life revolves around college, home, sleep, with a few bits inbetween.

I am a substitute person.

I live with it.

But for once I'd like to belong to somebody who I care about and they care about me.

Its not too much to ask... is it?

well yes, when theres girls much prettier than I am who are still single.

I know that moaning does nothing to solve it but it makes me feel better.

I know no one will read this... but for those who do and those who are boys.... Look and learn and for all those girls... Head High and Dream On

upset beyond belief.
No time left to cry though.
I'm just gonna smile.

Through it all I've been, mostly with you.
so where do I go from here.
Through it all, you've seen me fall.

I'm not his, and he's not mine.
Couldn't make a desision.
Just let the heart break

Start to cave. Start to cry.

uh huh well fine, not like it's even, worth the time, but still you know you wanted more, sorry it wont change, been there before.

The thing that sucks for me, lifes going in circles, ok so now you know the score.

I believe that life could get worse, but I'd like it to get better for a change.
That I'd be able to be more than me, or a friend.
That I could be honest and say the truth.
Everyday is passing by, each hour falls away, and theres not a moment I don't wish for changes.

It feels like I'm walking on broken bottles, each shard sticking into my feet, pushing their way up my legs to my stomach to my lungs to my heart to my throat to my mind!

I sit in silence and move in slow motion.
Window by window I try to look in to this scared little girl that I am.

I fill every hour with it. Huge and dark, I can't hide.
I still breath, but cry in silence at the lies I tell myself.

The Dark I Know

"Me and My Beauty"

God it's good the loving, ain't it good tonight!

Stuff is falling...
Where I don't know...
But it hasn't landed and broken yet...
I'm afraid for when I does!

Oh I believe....
All will be forgiven...
There is love in heaven...


Stuck in a rut, don't know what road to walk down... a whole can of worms are soon to be opened. Immersing myself in musicals... at the moment mostly Moulin Rouge and Spring Awakening...
Am I sharing these moments with no one.

Who can say what dreams are?
Who can say what we are?

I lay in silence thinking for hours of actions I can take but none of them seem very successfull.
I'm afraid to make a move...
Rejection is not my strong point, Heart Pain troubles me more than anything.

And now our bodies are the Guilty ones.

TIMES

Got smashed of my face!
Troubles a brewing!
Now I'm back!
and well things are still shit!

Kings Of Leon

What a bunch of beautifull boys they are...
Were going to see them in december...
much excitemundo...

Had a good day today...
went to town, got my friends birthday present and hung out with J.C and Teddy...
Gonna chillax untill thursday then its party time...

Talked to Teddy and J.C about the situation and it seems pretty inevitable that nothing will happen...
and if it does it's the work of some unseen forces....
Possibly God!

I make it worse for myself by putting myself in the position where I want it to happen...
Life is suckishly good!

The leaves may fall, but the trees stay tall!

Don't give up I will make it!

Love's got more hooks than a fish line.

This is a Bump in the road.

I am not the first.

I stick my head in the sunshine.

But expect the worst.

I will drown my sorrows.

Then swim to shore.

Believing hurts.

L.O.V.E

Fucking, bloody, cum bucket, shit!

I hate the way this makes me feel!


Damn it!

In other news... I quite like this picture!

Little Monster

Hassle

Is stuff getting on top of me.
I'm just looking the other way, saving my troubles for another day.
I have to throw them away but they're stuck to the bottom of my heart.
I used be myself, I never beat around the bush.

Now I'm so confused.
Now I'm so unsure.
Now I hate the way, that a say. I love you.

We used to be friends.
We always stayed the same, nothing came between us.
We never lost ourselves in each other.
We didn't know the difference between heaven and pain.

What Im going through is Hurtfull.
I never knew this would be it
Now this is the end.
We end it here.
I apologise.

Just to be there!

My heart and head are having a fight again...
I'm not sure what to do...
The last time I was in this situation my head won and it affected me strangely...
I was miserable up untill it ended which wasn't to bad it was more of a relief...
That probably doesn't make any sense but it't the only way to explain so I can get it off my chest...
I know I'm not the only one with problems at the moment...

It's worse because I'm so damn idescive...

On other news...
What a Crappy day...
Ah shit I'm still complaining....
well fuck....
who even cares...

Music seems to be affecting me...

"You don't know what you got, till your missing it alot"

Post to Post

Hmmm it's amazing how quickly life can suck...
I haven't ranted in a while...
When things seem to be going at a decent or normal rate something happens that fucks it up.
I make it worse for myself...
Since I broke up with Mitchell things have been shitty on the love front...
Shitty is putting it mildly... Im even watching Moulin Rouge, which is not helping...
COME WHAT MAY.... Dayuum that just makes it worse.
It's the constant reminders that make it worse.

Robyn's song "Be Mine" Is mirroring how I feel word for word...


"And I am helpless, sometimes wishings just no good
Cause you don't see me like I wish you would"

Teh Oh My Gawd season

so much is going on... had no time to update.
College is going great... I'm loving it (apart from maths which sucks and always will).
Im off to two partys soon... One at Asylum and one at a friends... Need to look on ebay to find a costume. Going as a mental paitient for Asylum and something else for the other one.
Bought a sexy dress for a fiver from primark, and a H by henry holland skirt with lips on it. Tis the sex. I also got my new bike it's bloody gorgeous :D Viking Vitesse its called and it's white...

Got a lot on my plate.

dunno much more than what I want to know.

Iwont say Im in love

Hercules I wont say Im in love is what we altos are singing in show choir...
Not sure if I want to go for the double solo part of Meg...
anyway Off too fair tonight.

Back from the beyond

Apologies...

Finally 17 yeah baby...

been having a bang tidy time at wyke...

really busy with work and finally getting a social life...

Its been a hectic couple of months...

Hull Fair tonight, going with Colesy and some others...

Decided what to go as for the Halloween party at Asylum....

I am going as...

ELISABETH BURROWS...
from the film : Don't say a word...

YAY crazy lady...

I'm quite upset that "This is england 86" has ended...

I love all the girls...

LOL and Kelly are my favourite....

spesh LOL's hair, it's beautifull...

LUSH

I'm at college now, so I'm finally a student.
Lifes been life... It has its ups and downs, mostly up at the moment, I feel awkward writing this, but me and Mitchell are over and thats all I'm going to say.

On a lighter note, I went to a freshers night at pozition and had a good old party with Steph and Lauren... quite chavvy music but all was good. I'm enjoying college and have made some great new friends...

17 in a few weeks, kinda excited, I want to have my friends over or something like that, we're all going to pizza hut tommorrow so need to save money for that... still good times x

I've fallen out of favour
And I've fallen from grace
Fallen out of trees
And I've fallen on my face
Fallen out of taxis
Out of windows too
Fell in your opinion
When I fell in love with you

Oh-ooh
Sometimes I wish for falling
Wish for the release
Wish for falling through the air
To give me some relief
Because falling's not the problem
When I'm falling I'm in peace
It's only when I hit the ground
It causes all the grief

Oh-ooh
This is a song for a scribbled out name
And my love keeps writing again and again
This is a song for a scribbled out name
And my love keeps writing again and again
And again
I'll dance myself up
Drunk myself down
Find people to love
Love people too drunk
I'm not scared to jump
I'm not scared to fall
If there was nowhere to land
I woudn't be scared
At all
All

Sometimes I wish for falling
Wish for the release
Wish for falling through the air
To give me some relief
Because falling's not the problem
When I'm falling I'm in peace
It's only when I hit the ground
It causes all the grief

The E.N.D?

Things are feeling...Odd!
I've developed theese thoughts within day's and it's putting me down and making me worry.
The cause of the problem is unnatainable so I can't sort it out. It just ends up pushed to one side.

I had my enrollment on Thursday, I'm allowed to take all my AS/A2 courses aswell as retaking my maths Gcse so good times!
Got my Nus card (£11!!!!) and a ticket for the freshers foam party on the 17th I'm meeting Ashleigh and Lauren there! Time for a good old Party I think!

Feeling pretty Pissy about stuff to do with college for some reason, I thinks it's because I'm nervous!

Laters alligators

cos we're all sorted out for E's and Wizz

Oh is this the way they say the future's meant to feel?
Or just twent thousand people standing in a field
And I just don't quite understand what this feeling is
But that okay cos we're all sorted out for E's and Wizz
And tell me when the spaceship lands
Cos all this has just got to mean something
In the middle of the night
It feels alright but then tomorrow morning
Ohh Ohh when you come down
Oh yeah the pirate radion told us what was going down
Got the tickets from some messed up bloke in Camden Town
And no one seems to know exactly where it is
But that's okay, cos we're all sorted out for E's and Wizz
At 4 0'clock the normal world seems very very very far away
Hey hey
Just keep on moving
Everybody asks your name they say we're all the same
And now it's "Nice one, Geezer"-that's far the conversation went
I lost my friends, I dance alone, it's 6 o'clock, I wanna go home
But it's no way not today, makes you wonder what it meant
And thi hollow feeling grows and grows and grows and grows
And you wanna call your mother and say,
"Mother, I can never come home again because I seem to have left
an important part of my brain somewhere in a field in Hampshire."
Alright
Ooohh Oohh when you come down
Oohh what if you never come down

Oh is this the way they say the future's meant to feel?
Or just twenty thousand people standing in a field
And I don't quite understand just what this feeling is
But that okay cos we're all sorted out for E's and Wizz
And tell me when the spaceship lands
Cos all this has just got to mean something

In the middle of the night
It feels alright but then tomorrow morning
Ohh Ohh when you come down

Oh yeah the pirate radio told us what was going down
Got the tickets from some fucked up bloke in Camden Town
And no one seems to know exactly where it is
But that's okay, cos we're all sorted out for E's and Wizz
At 4 0'clock the normal world seems very very very far away
Hey hey

Just keep on moving
Everybody asks your name they say we're all the same
And now it's "Nice one, Geezer"-and that's far the conversation went
I lost my friends, I dance alone, it's 6 o'clock, I wanna go home
But it's no way not today, makes you wonder what it meant
And the hollow feeling grows and grows and grows and grows
And you wanna call your mother and say,
"Mother, I can never come home again because I seem to have left
an important part of my brain somewhere in a field in Hampshire."
Alright



Ooohh Oohh when you come down
Oohh what if you never come down?


From the album Different Class

Man in the Kitchen, Bastard in the Bedroom

Fuck me... Not written in a while...
So stuffs going good, I have my college enrollment tommorrow at 3.45 (takes the fucking piss)
But whatevs!
Still with Mitchell... Goood times is all I am gonna say, except that a slight factor of S&M has appeared.
Got my GCSE results :)
6 A's
4 B's
2 C's
and One D (I failed my maths) Oh well, if it means retaking at college so be it. Life's tough, it's tougher when your stupid!
Seriously though I'm actually very much excited for college althoug I may have to stay another two years to get one of the subjects I've had to drop. But whats the worst that can happen? I get more mature. I'm not desperate to go to University.. That can wait. I just want to leave Hull and get on with working in London (YEHA BABY) with endless job opportunities :)
Well lifes moving at it's usual rate. My birthday in 28 days and Mitchells in 20 :) Need to decide what I'm doing for that now. well Tata xxx

Tree Zombie

Back In Black

well, I simply cannot revert back to my normal life.
Er well things are getting back on track.

Loving florence and the machines new song , "Heavy in your arms" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJg1iZVdEkw

Been out with Mitchell a couple of times, loving his company.
nothing much to report tbh.

Submerge

A death in the family leaves a void that cannot be filled. No one can ever take the place of this individual in the world. We should not try to comfort the family by saying that "it was his time anyway", or, "he was suffering". These may be words of comfort later. However, there must be time to mourn the fact that things will never be the same. One minute he was here and now he is gone. The human mind must be allowed to sit with this reality. Mourning is a necessary part of the human experience. If it is ignored, a general feeling of sadness may pervade the whole family.

Spiraling

Well the bomb has finally dropped!
Im not going to go into detail. Basically it's hurt my family and me and we're all coping in our own way!
I'm writing this and I still haven't come to terms with what has happened fully. I think that I'm still waiting for it to hit me. I haven't had a propper cry or broken down yet. I doing th champagne affect... Bottle it up, then explode!
I'm being encouraged to get on and go out, but it doesn't feel right. I don't want to start crying in the middle of town. I don't want to cry on my familys shoulders because they have to deal with this aswell.
Mitchell is fully aware of whats happened and I know he's here for me.
It's only short, theres loads of stuff to be sorted out. Bye for now

I forsee the light ahead!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

It's just sooo beautifull!!!!!

If I ever get married, I would love a replica just like this!

Found it whilst browsing for vinatage dresses!

I nearly died!

Diptheria!

God I'm so angry at the moment, It annoys me so much when he does that! We'll call him Ben! I Know that ranting on this doesn't solve the situation, but I've honestly given up trying! I just feel like yelling at Ben "get a fucking grip!" he does my head in. He complains, then when I try to help him it just gets thrown back in my pissing face. Well screw him, Let him do what he wants, I'm sick of trying to help and please him. From now on he can get lost, if he wants my help, tough I'm not gonna even care! Fuck Him.
I've got too much going on in my life to worry about him from now on, this is my last ever rant about him! I've got for once something normal in my life and I'm not screwing it up for him!

I've had enough of emotionally unstable men in my life! I had an Ex Boyfriend ringing me up and pestering me a few weeks ago... It was awfull! We broke up in a really unpleasant way and caused a fight between me and him, in which some other people got involved and it just ended really badly, and now after almost a year of no contact, he bloody rings me, apologizing and begging me to take him back! I said no of course, but after a few days of him pestering me, I finally had to threaten him with the police. I blocked his number and thank GOD I haven't heard from him since! Why do men get all obessive over something they can't have!?

Life for me at the moment is a really wierd balance, I'm having family problems so thats dragging the scale down, but I have Mitchell which is keeping me happy and sane, hence balancing me out a bit. I'm dreading it when the whole family thing comes to a head, its just gonna be the worst. I don't think that any of us are gonna handle it very well so it will be chaos. I hate the fact that were already preparing ourselves for the inevitable worst, which we all know is coming! Some of my family are in denial and wont be blunt about whats happening, which is maing it worst because their gonna rely on us for support, when we've moved on, dragging us down! It's not fair this is happening now, its just gonna be a huge test on mine and Mitchell's relationship and I hope that I wont get scared! I'm not afraid anymore, I'm sick of being afraid! Being scared of getting hurt can cause more pain! But I dont want to drag Mitchell to the dark places my mind takes me.
I've always had voices in my head telling me what a useless bastard I am, but the voice is my own! I hate the fact that Bipolar (Bipolar II Disorder:hypomania and depression) is such a fucker to have as a mental illness, It's not something that I admit to people often, It affects my day in so many ways!
I find myself in the middle of the night fantasising about suicide and how I could do it... I also hate the paranoia, thats what usually ended most of my relationships! It's not called manic depression for no reason. Bipolar disorder also affects your energy level, judgment, memory, concentration, appetite, sleep patterns, sex drive, and self-esteem. All of that applies to me, On a long stretch of depression I'm usually ables to disguise it as PMS, but I turn from a rational nice girl to a raging imbecile able of upsetting anyone (I've never suffered with plain old mania)! I've been lucky the past few weeks, I've been relatively normal/balanced mood. But I can feel myself edging toward depression, I'm able to moniter my mood swings easily through this, and I can see myself getting grouchy and complaining about people more! I think that I know whats gonna hit me this time!

My day out!

Had a great day, met up with Mitchell and Jordan, we basically mooched around town.
The day consisted of me being embarressed and exploring museums! I met Mitchell and Jordan outside St stephens, and was horrified to discover that they had an Iron man mask and intented to wear it! Playing mother I confiscated it, so that they could wear it around less people and not embarrass me as much!
we messed about on Marina, violating a cannon, and took some photo's; Because boy's dont have handbags I ended up with Jordans wallet and wanted to stage a robbery, but Mitchell was too nice and stayed while I ran off like a goon!! And moved on to the museums!
Jordan made it his task to scare the bloody shit out of me, every ten minutes, leaving my nerves shot. I was sat on the bus home terrified that he's jump out at me!
The museums were smelly and full of cameras! but lots of dark corners, for dark deeds!
we wandered mostly around the museum aimlessly apart from when me and Mitchell decided to check out the "exhibits"!
There was an incedent in which my ex rang Mitchell (who he's friends with) and started questioning him about some girl or something! I was annoyed cause the fucktard broke up with me after less than a pisssing week and at prom made it out to be my fault! I can't stand him now to be honest! I don't know why I wasted my time with him!
At the end of the day I dragged them both with me to the bus station to wait for a bus with me! were we saw some of the Hull freak show!

Overall I had a smashing day and am now consequently making plans for swimming!
..........
Ohhh and Tar when you read this! I love you! xxxx

Hi Leg

Pegs, part of my mums shopping from tesco's today. Had a pretty average day, went out with my mum then went shopping and came home, had a nap and for tea I have made a lovely Curry.
What a doting daughter I am. Off to town tomorrow, not exactly sure who with, recieved a text of Mitchell saying "for tomorrow meeting outside st stephens at 11.30" I was expecting the rest to say locate the black suitcase under the bench and leave! I'm not exactly sure what were doing in town, just mooching I think :)
Feeling particular today..well it's the end of the month!
I'm hoping that the weather cheers up, because I wanna go to the seaside! No such luck eh?

Kinky Boudiour

I'm loving underwear at the minute, especially the What Katie Did range its gorgeous http://www.whatkatiedid.com/ I specially love this bit of kit :

Vanilla Ice cream and Wooden Spoons

I love that title! As bizzarre as it reads that is part of what my day consisted of.

I finally got to see my man Mitchell, who now has a new nickname Tar (short for Tarzan) and I have Jules (short for Juliet).
We spent most of the day in a field (not what you think!) with him getting abused by a rope swing! We had the random urge to eat ice cream, but with the dilemma of having no spoons! so we improvised by buying wooden spoons!

It was a great day, Mitchell made me laugh, as usual and he was probably terrified! We got a bit wet from some rain showers but all was ok! I'm feeling much more positive after seeing him and feel thorougly happy.

Thats my day ....

Girl Interrupted

Ahhh Lisa Rowe (Angelina Jolie)

Girl Interrupted, what a film!

Reminds me of one flew over the cuckoos nest

You can't spell laughter without slaughter

If it is alright (if it is alright) to conceal the truth,
Then when does the concealment end, and lying begin?
Tell me when? Tell me when? This is a maudlin motion picture.
A theme song in search of a movie,
I've got the perfect script to match this tune.
Who really knows what goes on in the afternoon?
Lets not ruin the surprise.

What do I wish I had done today?

I wish I told someone what I think of them!
sounds silly but I'm sick of being afraid of telling people my honest opinions about them. One person for start (who'll I'll name John) John is a complete self absorbed Prick, who thinks he's all high and mighty because he's older and more "acomplished" yeah sure a job you took beacause your only talent is pleasing yourself! He talks to his family like shit but acts all nicey nice around other people, his priorities are totally messed up and gives no consideration for how other people feel, his family members can't stand him half the time and are glad when he's not around! Also he is a smug arrogant fuck-tard who uses his masculinity to dominate things!

Now lets say I told John this to his face, I'd get a slap, but if I gave him a watered down version of the truth I'd become a stupid oppiniated teenager with no respect! Half the people I know I can't stand but I can't be bothered to argue with them!

Oranges are tough!

Feeling Melancholy.
so I will listen to Melancholy Hill by the Gorillaz.
The week has been Interesting, my emotions are all over the place like a menopausal woman. I've been revisited by the insomnia fairy again and am now suffering a complex!
I did my Tarot Cards yesterday, not looking good if I'm honest.
Went for a run earlier on, I had no energy and was running really slow.
I feel like there a dead weight on my shoulder at the moment and I know that its not going anywhere for a while yet. I hate feeling lacklustre and all limp life. All I'm doing in comfort eating, laying in bed and reading or staying at my grandmas (not including updating this).
The only highlight in my life at the moment is Mitchell, who I've not seen in donkeys. I don't see J.C enough to fill him in, and were not friends who really discuss each others feelings. My parents are too busy with their own lives to really notice that much change in me. Mums got her own problems at the moment, but my Dad is just being Mr Sport again and getting annoyed with anything that interupts it. Training comes first, Family and life is somewhere lost on him.
I'm looking out of the window as I write this, the sky is a clear blue, with some white and gray clouds obscurring it slightly, but still adding to the view. I can see the tops of trees from behinds houses swaying slightly from the breeze and I feel actually serene. I wake up to this most mornings and yet I still find something to complain about. The Human Nature makes me sick sometimes. Were never gratefull for what we have. Something has to make it better, perhaps because were insecure with where our lives our taking us.
Just a thought!
Toodle Pip

Narwhal

heheh Sucks so much... I want to see Mitchell... Sound like a post-puebessant teenager again!
But I want to see Herr Mitch, (Oooooooooooh may post in German at some point).
Loving how nice he's being with all the shitty problemos atm.

Auf whiedersen (WTF!!!)

Thou doth feel moved

Quotes from plays and books:

"Romeo: Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear,
That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops—
Juliet: O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise varia."
(Act II Scene 2)

I come here with no expectations, only to profess,

now I am at the liberty to do so, that my heart is and will always be yours.
-- Jane Auten, Sense and Sensibility

"To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless."
Chesterton, Gilbert K. on Hope

"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and

you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others."
Braude, Jacob M. on Change

Quote on Genius
"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world
Are the ones who do."

What am I glad I did today?

ho hum,
I'm glad I spent time with my family, even though it's driving me crazy. I am really struggling to stay positive in myself, so I'm looking for things that make others feel happier and stronger.
My family don't need me to be selfish right now, which would be the easier thing for me to do, so I'm being helpfull and staying close by. I wish things could just get better and move on.

F.R.U.I.T

http://www.fruitspace.co.uk/

"Hull’s Newest, Most Exciting Entertainment and Arts Space, situated in the Marina and Fruit Market area of the City. This warehouse venue will host a variety of cutting edge cultural activities. From theatre, music and cinema to fashion, comedy, art and photography exhibitions, this multi-function space will also feature indoor markets and food fayres as well as activities for young people."

Tete-a-Tete

PARTY TIME!

WHEYYYYYY mucho happiness.

Can't dance very well (simmilar to an elephant on drugs)

but hey-ho.

HERE WE GO JIGILOW

much love at the minute.

so busy that I haven't had a chance to make plans with Mitchell... feeling sorry for myself.

Mitchell bless his cotton socks.... Patience of a saint (well you have to with me, Im so blonde), He witnessed a few day ago just how clumsy I am and also one of my very embarressing lauging fits, I must have looked deranged. Good god whats he let himself in for. Were making plans to go to the cinema atm!

What are the things that drain my energy?

Ermmm this one is quite easy I can easily list 5 things that drain me

1. Arguing with my family especially my mum and dad.
2. Not eating ( this goes for most people)
3. Being stuck in the house and not going anywhere or doing anything
4. staying up too late then having a busy day afterwards (I do this regulary, and tbh it is my own fault)
5. Not being Happy (although I can be quite pessimistic, I like to be happy about whats going on)

And my dearies thats about it... I am naturally quite a lazy person and am able to spend a full day in bed "slobbing it". I find that however I do need to be motivated or else I get stuck in a rut, which I hate...

Kay?

Taraa

Love Images

All Images are credited to Looklet.com

Paddington Bear!

My Favourite Bookie wooks!


Blesssssss !

What do I praise myself for today?

Well, thats a hard one, I'm my own worst critic and find any positive comments hard to believe, so finding something good that I've done myself is pretty darn hard... I guess I would have to put the fact that I've not turned my bedroom into a tip over the past few hours is a good thing, (sounds silly, but I have an affinity for making a mess and advoiding tidying it up) so knowing that my bedroom looks more bedroom-y than an obsiticle course is a good achievement on my behalf, also the fact that I have no clothes splayed everywhere. There all nicely hung up in my wardrobe, which looks wierd being full of clothes and not junk!
Praising myself for a tidy bedroom..I need to spice up my life! Hmmmm a trip to the supermarket might do it! I like to look at people's trolleys and assess what kind of lives they lead by its contents!

Semolina Brain!

Mweeeeee is happy :)
J.C has started a blog... I have a Blog Buddy :)
Mitchell is so lovely <3 he makes me dead happy... we were texting quite late at night recently about all sorts off stuff.. Its good to be with someone who cares!
Past B'Friends were not so nice, and I was a bit wary, but I'm not afraid now!
The past feeling of restrictedness has evaporated and I feel new and able to have a relationship with someone who deserves me and I deserve back.
The fact that I also have support off my family to do better and stop fucking up my life has given me more motivation to get on and enjoy who I am, and where I'm going in my life.
I'm looking up travelling the world after college and before I go to university, so that I can gain some life experience.
Now that lifes got its rosy glow back, I'm noticing that the beer glass is much more full than empty! And I dont have bus drivers telling me... "cheer up, could be worse!" ha yeah screeeew yoooou driver!
I have a life! I don't pay taxes (yet)!

What am I grateful for today?

Today, Im grateful for my health!
I know it's such an obvious choice, but with my grandfather seriously ill...Iam hugely grateful for the fact that I'm not facing my own mortality and in a lot of pain!
I'm not afraid of death or pain, but loosing things, I don't want my grandad to die beacause that would mean loosing him. Im not a member of any faith yet I have built up my beliefs to cope with death and life...I am fully aware of my process of death and loss, I don't talk about it, I bottle it up, the one day just freak out (much to everyones alarm)!
Getting back to the question.
The fact that I am grateful for my healt has also lead to go on a total detox, I'm jogging again and eating healthy.
Nothing can stop me being gratefull of my life and the lives of those who surround me.

Project!

Im'a gonna ask my self each day a question and post my answers on this and Tumblr. My tumblr page is; http://stressedholly93.tumblr.com/!

MOTHER DUCKER

Suzanne Vega?
Oh well... Been very satisfied with the summer saled recently... got two items from Topshop for under £20 and and Top from River Island for £8!
AHHHH stress to destress eh?
The town centre has been packed, and I find myself getting quite abusive in the car!
It alarms my parents back seat driver road rage... is it cureable?
Desperate to loose a couple of stone! Looking like the michelin man with all my spare tyres!!!

Plans go Haywire

Sucks when plans are made, but end up failing!

The frustration is setting in... I only saw him (who I will call Mitchell) a few days ago and it feels like a life time. It's true that Mitchell is not my usual type.. , but yet somthing about him draws me towards him.. He asked me out after a few weeks of chatting and getting to know each other; I said yes and feel very happy about it, I said yes upon the advice of a good friend .... Well I hope I just stay happy.. No back Track I know I'll be happy, he's the best!

Sucks to be sherbert

I love the Underground

Promity Prom Prom

Mehhh twas a good night, sooo tierd...
Me dress looked pwetty!
but Im oh so depressed....

Jokes on you! TOUCHE.

What a waste of a week its been, the b-day/leavers party.. Oh sweet christ it was just unreal.
The ex was being a complete 3- (code for knob) .... Will update later

Elle Madmoiselle

Finally left school!
My last exam was today : science
Feels odd not being in senior school anymore,
I will really miss it

Chains will Keep us together

Hate the fact I've not updated in a while... been ever so busy with exams.
I have one exam left and its science.
The drama exam went well and now I can relax an blog regulary.
At the moment I am sat down with a pear cider wathcing Florence and the Machine at Glastonbury.
They are my favourite band... saw them at the freedom festival and caught one of the set list (one of my most prized possessions).
I have a agreement with my mother and Friends that we will all go one year .

Been having a reaaly odd week otherwise. The insomnia has revisited for a week leaving me restlees at night watching episode after episode of american programs and mini-series.
Had a whirlwind "relationship" I dont even want to go there.. why is it that all boys think the phrase "I'd like to stay mates" makes everything ok... In my book that and "it's not you its me" is a killable offence and I can easily get my hands on Poison.
So with the stress of school, no sleeping, stupid boys. My skin has also betrayed me with oily skin and break outs! So I'm going to be stocking up on simple and witch products to relieve and de-spot my slimy skin before PROM!!!

PRRRRRROM.
Thats another subject of discussion.
I'm dreding the Veggie dinner option !
If its soup of a nut cutlet I may stab the waiter serving me !

My mother got a Picasso tattoo of the Dove of peace on the back of her neck! so Im allowed one for my 17th but I'm so goddamn Indesidive!

A House is not a Home

Here we go Jigilow.

Due to the bad weather in HULL I've not been able to get out for a run, so feeling very brave I donned my trainers and braved the MISERABLE weather and believe it or not ran my best in ages, I stopped one and felt so pleased with myself :) despite the exam today another dose of good news came my way.

I got an A in my Drama coursework, so I need about a B/A level exam piece to get an A or a high B.

Even thought the exam today was English Language (Which I have an A already) I still got quite bogged down, just trying to relax for the maths calculator test tommorrow! Ahh alls well that ends well.

If you haven't Glued your fingers together youv'e had no childhood

Fifty Dangerous Things (You Should Let Your Children Do).

Are kids molly coddled to much...

Got me thinking about.......
Dangerous + Strange = Strangerous Things We Do ;)

• #Stick blueberries up your nose and see how far you can shoot them
• #Wear your Halloween costume any day but Halloween
• #When you see someone picking their nose, look them right in the eye and pick your nose too - Do not break Eye Contact first!
• #Make a slide down the stairs using mattresses, laundry baskets or inside a sleeping bag
• #Go bushwhacking while blindfolded through the forest with a pal. Make sure you don't bushwhack your pal .

If you want to read more here is the Link : http://www.discoverfun.com/freeinfo/500fun/dangerous.html

How I Feel

Just had a Maths GCSE today!

As usual my dumb blonde self got in a tizz, I'm not brilliant at maths and often take the mick out of myself for it!

So just before I entered the exam a friend sent me a message with this picture saying "Reminded me of you... Minus the red hair ;)"

The picture is of the little mermaid (cute or what). Ariel is my favourite Disney character...

Just a little snippet from my day x

My Prom Dress

My Prom Dress!